Amy’s story

He was my first actual REAL love. We were together about 3 years but the abuse started after only one month. He would humiliate me in front of other people, push me around, hit, kick, and choke me.

He called me fat (I ended up losing heaps of weight and I was slim already) and he said I was stupid and would constantly build himself up by putting me down.

I was never allowed to have male friends because he constantly accused me of cheating (while in reality, he was the cheater).

He would go out, take my car, all my money and not come home until the next night. I would try to talk to friends and family about it but he had “spies” and would find out and things would just get worse. I loved him with all my heart and refused to see what he was doing to me as “abuse”.

How I coped

I would talk to my mother at times, but mostly kept things to myself out of fear of him finding out that I was “talking about him!”

How the situation changed

I walked in on him and my “best friend” in bed together and decided this was my opportunity to get out. He couldn’t lie his way out of this one.

What helped

I went and stayed with my family and they helped me and are still helping me through it all. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life.

My advice to others

Love is very blind and sometimes you’re so blinded that you don’t even realise you’re being abused. Love is also a very wonderful feeling but it is very important for that love to be mutual.

If there’s one thing that I have learned from all this, it’s to take the advice of friends and family. Sometimes they can see what you can’t.

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6 Responses to “Amy’s story”

  1. This guy acted habitually uncaring toward you in general AND physically abused you. He was not a nice guy with a weird problem that made him hit people or something. He was MEAN. I wish you would have known more about people than to think you loved that guy.

  2. ii know wat you mean b0iz are doggz they will beat you make you feel like you are nothing just so they can feel good about themselfs!!!!

  3. The same thing was happening to me. Except around people he treated me so nice and he said he loved me. Yet, when he got drunk he would beat me. He was also paroniord that my best friend, Simon, was going to steal me from him. One day I told Simon and my other best friend, Santiago, that he was pressuring me for sex. I didn’t tell them about him beating me yet, but Simon told me to get out. The guy had a criminal record. Santiago said if I tried to get out I might get killed. Hoewever, I took Simon’s advise, and the night I broke up with the guy he tried to rape me and he beat the living crap out of me. I don’t know how I even got away, but I did. His sister called me about an hour later and said he had tried to kill her too. The next day at school I smiled and tried so hard to hide all the marks and my limp. But Simon saw and he asked how bad it was… The hurt in his eyes because of what happened. That happend 3 years ago… and Today in school Simon asked me if I wanted to talk about it… I told him the entire story and he was mortified about the stuff my ex did to me… He then understood why I was so paroniod and didn’t like people touching me… He felt really bad about what happened and he promised that if he ever heard about a guy beating his gf he was going to kill him… My ex went to Jail for sexual Harrasment 3 months ago… and it was amazing to think I’m finally safe… I wish I had had an interest in finding outabout abuse and harrasment BEFORE it had happened to me.. but I am glad I’m alive and Hope other girls will read this and realize… If he really Loves you HE WOULDN’T HIT YOU! Get rid of him but do it in a well lighted area with lots of people! and don’t think your safe then…
    Love, Jeanne!

  4. Marisa longhouse November 25, 2010 at 4:35 am

    i no watcha mean it happened to me to but my man tried to kill my family and keep me he said everything was ok but was it?? hell no!

  5. this is so sad i am a mum of 4 my 20 year old is going through the same thing the emotional and mental abuse she is going through is so nasty and mean and i just dont know how i can help her how i can make her lissen to me. i not sure if it has become physical yet i do know he can be violant i seen this just dont know what to do i so sorry you had to exsperiance some thing so nasty in your young life i hope your getting the love and attention you so need from your family and friends i glad you got out early and i glad your safe stay strong.

  6. Hi there – thanks for your message. It is very sad that your daughter is experiencing abuse in her relationship – it must be terrible as a mum to not be able to protect your child. You may find it useful to read our brochure entitled “Is someone you know being abused in a relationship?” which can be downloaded for free from our website. The best thing you can do is to continue to love and support your daughter. All the best.