Dating and being in love can be exciting – but at times it can be totally confusing. This site helps you work out where your relationship is at – whether it’s good, bad, or ugly.

Single? Just dating? Or not really sure what you want? That’s ok, there’s something here for everyone…

It answers questions like:

  • How can I find a boyfriend or girlfriend?
  • How can I make my relationship better?
  • What can I do if it’s ugly – and being around my BF or GF makes me feel upset, hurt, controlled or abused?

This website site gives you information and advice from the personal experiences of other young people who have been there… people who have experienced ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’.

Made with your stories

This site has been around since 1998, and it was originally called When Love Hurts: a guide on love, respect and abuse in relationships.

Old site: screenshots from the original When Love Hurts website

The original When Love Hurts website, 1998


In 2000, we asked you to send us your stories and advice.

We got over 1,000 stories.

From reading these stories we learned:

  • what abuse is
  • warning signs that things are bad or getting ugly
  • how abuse or domestic violence affects you, and
  • advice and tips on what you can do about it.

We still want your stories – please tell us about good relationships you’ve had. What’s something your boyfriend or girlfriend has done that made you feel loved and trusted? Tell us here.

Who made the site?

It was made by Jane Curtis, Mandy McKenzie and Kiri Bear.

We all work at the Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria (DVRCV) in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

Jane Curtis


Jane is a web designer. She plays ukulele and accordion (beginners!) in the Women’s Circus band and volunteers at Community Radio 3CR.



Mandy McKenzie


Mandy is a publications officer at DVRCV. Mandy has worked as a checkout chick, a counsellor, librarian, writer and editor. She has also written two non-fiction books The Share House Survival Guide and The Book of Death.


Kiri Bear, Partners in Prevention 2010


Kiri runs the Partners in Prevention project. She belongs to the Women’s Circus too and likes balancing people on her shoulders – they walk all over her! On weekends Kiri plays with her Nintendo, hangs out with friends and watches scifi movies. She secretly longs for a sequel to Zelda: Twilight Princess.

Who do we work for?

Love: the good, the bad, the ugly is part of the work of DVRCV. This website is funded by VicHealth.

DVRCV is a nonprofit service in Victoria, funded by the Victorian government. We train counsellors, nurses, doctors and other people in the community on how best to help victims of abuse. We make websites, flyers and books to help people who are being abused or have violence in their relationships. We also help people find counsellors, services and support groups that can help. Learn more about DVRCV.

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