Jesse’s story

I met my son’s father when I was 18 years old. We met through mutual friends, and got along great in the beginning. He made me feel so special, paid attention to me every day, and was the nicest guy I had ever met.

We were young, we partied together, and did drugs when we first met.

I got pregnant with my son six months into the relationship, and the party life ended. We got our own apartment and settled down after struggling against the world in general. It was very hard to make it in the world being so young, we were both broke high school drop-outs who still lived off our parents.

The abuse started when I was only one month pregnant. I spent my whole pregnancy fearing for the life of my child, fearing my own life, and yet I still couldn’t find it within me to GET OUT. I thought giving him a son would change him, show him how much I loved him. But the abuse continued until after my son was born.

How I coped

He always had me thinking that it was my fault. That if I wasn’t so crazy and neurotic it wouldn’t happen. That I should know what set him off and to watch my mouth.

I started spending a lot of time away from home and that just made him all the more jealous.

He got more and more obvious, sending me out black and blue, hitting me in front of my family and friends, then telling them how crazy and unfaithful I was.

I grew to believe him.

How the situation changed

The last fight we got into was horrible. I had to call the police and finally go through with him being charged. They had been there 10 times over the last 3 years.

What helped me

If it wasn’t for my friends standing by me, I would never have left the relationship.

They supported me unconditionally. Every time I went back to him against their advice, they were still there for me when I called, even if it was in the middle of the night. They always believed me and never made any excuses for him.

Seeing the change in my son once I moved him out of that hateful environment confirmed to me that I was doing the right thing even though it would be more of a struggle trying to make it alone.

My advice to others

Realize that this is not your fault. It is not something you brought upon yourself no matter what you have said or done. Anyone can walk out the door, but the hardest part is never coming back, and knowing in your heart that you are doing the right thing.

It will take time, tears, and it will change your life and all of your future relationships. But never lose that person inside you, no one can take that away.

Don’t turn your back on someone if you think they are being abused, even if they won’t leave. It is harder than you can imagine unless you have been through it.

Remember that there are people who will believe you and help you. You are not the person that your abuser makes you feel like. YOU have control of your life.

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One Response to “Jesse’s story”

  1. “Anyone can walk out the door, but the hardest part is never coming back”…

    No truer words. Thank you for your story, can relate 100%.