Tainted’s story

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I have been abused by my partner for three years. Although we are not together now, he is still controlling. He is psychologically and physically abusive. He has hit me four times and has threatened to kill me twice. The second time he hit me and punched me in the face and then dragged me out of the car into the middle of the busy street.

Eventually he picked me up and shoved me against the car screaming, and his exact words were “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO”. At this point we had broken up and he was in another relationship already. He had sexual relations with my two of my ‘friends’ while we were involved. He always cheated.

His life became a secret and I was the one who all his anger was directed at. It came down to him screaming at me in public. Telling me how sick he is of me. We have not been a couple for two years now. And the past year has been the hardest because I have stopped everything when it comes to him. He hates the fact and keeps begging me to take him back.

How I coped

I am still dealing with my situation and taking each day as it comes. He is like a dormant volcano, so one never knows when he will erupt. I just tried to be calm and proud of the fact that I did leave.

How the situation has changed

The situation has not changed drastically. But it did change when I threatened to leave him out of my life completely, I guess I just felt sorry for him.

I am at the point where all have in my heart is hate and resentment. I am ready to get rid of him now.

What helped me

I have been all alone during this period. I just completed my psychology degree.

So studying and my independence to a certain extent helped me through it all. I couldn’t give him the satisfaction or idea that he has won and destroyed me.

My advice to others

Don’t be a victim and allow the person abusing you to feel great or to believe that they have succeeded in destroying you. The stronger you are or seem to be, even if it is just on the surface, is an advantage. Try to get out of abusive situations before it is too late.

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One Response to “Tainted’s story”

  1. If he’s THAT abusive, then you SHOULD leave him out of your life completely and maybe call the police on him or get a restraining order or something. He is physically violent and threatening and sounds dangerous. (If you’re afraid to leave him out of your life completely or you feel sorry for him or something like that, then don’t actually TELL him you’re leaving him out of your life completely or almost completely, just avoid him a lot, and if that doesn’t work then call the police on him if he’s still threatening you.)

    I have an ex-friend I broke up with because she was emotionally abusive. We had been childhood friends and it turned out that it wasn’t entirely possible for either of us to completely “end it” and never think of each other any more…so we still contact each other by mail once in a while, but she is not really my friend. She lives in a different state anyway and we haven’t seen each other in person in many years. I deliberately don’t email her any more or talk to her on the phone any more, because those forms of contact are a little too close for me with her; I don’t give her opportunities to manipulate me; and I just ignore her if she claims that I broke up with her for no good reason or something like that. But she lives far away and has never been physically abusive. This guy you used to date is still physically attacking you a year or two after you broke up with him? You need to REALLY break up with him, and stay away from him, and probably get either some help for him or some protection from him or both. He sounds really dangerous. Please get away from him if you can. Good luck.