Krissy’s story

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I was seeing this guy I had known for quite a while. At first he seemed to be a great guy but after about a month I could see he had some issues.

It started when he got mad if I’d talk to my friends or overly jealous if I talked to any guys.

Then it became worse.

Towards the end of our relationship, I didn’t have any friends, hardly even left my house, didn’t go to school or work (he would have been mad), and spent all my time with him. One night I went to the shop after he had left – I was gone about 10 minutes, and when I had got home he had already called 3 times and when I picked up the phone he started accusing me of cheating on him and calling me names.

I loved him so I thought I could change him.

But I realised I couldn’t be with him anymore the day he put a hole through my door and threatened me. In the end he refused to leave so I was forced to call the police. He was jealous and possessive of me and I let it go on too long.

I didn’t think it was abuse… until now.

How I coped

I’m still coping with it, I just tell myself you don’t need to be treated like that. After being with him I can’t trust guys anymore..

How the situation changed

After I broke up with him I felt relieved, I was able to do anything I wanted and talk to anyone I felt like talking to. I got a job too (something I wasn’t able to have while with him) and it helped me to forgot about him.

What helped me

My friends helped me to get over it and I just told myself I’m way better off without him. After a week of not seeing him, my life was already changing for the better, I was much happier than I had been in a while.

My advice to others

The longer you stay with them the harder it is to leave them, you get attached. Don’t think they’ll change because they love you or that you can change them, believe me I’ve tried and I think we all have.

It’s better to realise this before something serious happens, I’m happy I did and I think I did just in time.

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5 Responses to “Krissy’s story”

  1. I feel the same way, but I’ve tried to change him, and it seems like he’s trying to change. If he’s starting to change, do you think he’ll go back to his abusive self?

  2. Yes…at least that has been my experience. My boyfriend of almost 7 years tried to change several times. Even went to welding school to be able to keep a job. Every time the change would last a little while and then back to the same old things. Each time I was to blame, but he would admit he was at fault in the past, not now, “he’s changed now.” so he says. I feel like an elephant is sitting on my shoulders everytime he’s around. even after almost 7 years. and several “changes”.

  3. im talking to this guy for about 2 months now. we had a fight at school and he pused me. he kept denying that he did it, and finally he said sorry and i forgave him. he grabs me but i dont think anything about it. what should i do?

  4. I think u should leave this person now because from grabbing it could escalate into a series of other things so leave now before it turns ugly!

  5. its kind of hard to believe someone will change after all they put you through but either way you have to get away from it. Dont make yourself go through the pain day after day… you deserve better so get better….being with him is not living life, its living abuse….do what is right! :)