Dating someone older?

You’re getting a strong vibe that he’s really into you. But he’s older than you. Does the age difference matter?

Lots of girls like the idea of dating older guys. They might be more experienced and more confident and independent. They can do things younger guys can’t, like drive or buy alcohol.

But there can be downsides to dating someone who is older than you too. Dating someone older?

If you’re dating someone older, think about…

  • Is your relationship is equal? Does your older boyfriend or girlfriend think they know more than you and so make more of the decisions? Do they take your opinions seriously? Do they tell you how to do things?
  • Do they expect you to have a sexual relationship with them? Do you feel pressured if you’re not ready?
  • Is it legal? If you’re a teenager, depending on your age and their age, it might be against the law for them to have sex with you.
  • Are you just dating them because you want to seem cool and like the status of having an older partner?

Having an older BF or GF isn’t necessarily a problem. If both of you have similar expectations, and you can both speak their minds and respect each other, and there are no legal issues if you have a sexual relationship, then the relationship can work as well as any other.

Is there a legal problem?

Each state and territory has its own laws governing the age of consent — the age at which a person is considered to be old enough to agree to have sex.

If someone older has sex with someone younger than the state’s age of consent, they can be charged with a criminal offence.  Even if you agree to have sex with them, it is still against the law for that person to have sex with you if you are under the age of consent.  Find out more on the Lawstuff website.

In love with your teacher?

There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with a teacher – in fact it’s not uncommon.

But telling your teacher you’re in love with him or her is a bad idea, and will probably only result in embarrassment. Your teacher is off-limits -  because it’s illegal for him or her to have a romantic or sexual relationship with you. It’s illegal for a number of reasons. Teachers have more power than students – for example, they have the power to assess your academic performance. Also, teachers have a professional duty to treat all students equally.

Don’t let yourself get caught up with fantasies about having a relationship. Accept that you have to get over it. Focus on something or someone else to distract you from these feelings.

If you can’t get over it, talk to another trusted adult about it.

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3 Responses to “Dating someone older?”

  1. In the USA and Canada, you need to be at least 25 or older to date someone seven years older than you are. If your between 18 and 24, it’s one to six years older. Under 18, one to two years.

  2. Hi Lisa
    I’m not sure if you’re talking about legal ages to have sex or what people think is ok.

    In Australia, the age that you can legally have sex is different in different states – find out the age for your state on LawStuff.

    Here’s a list of the age of consent for different countries.

  3. Beware older men who are quite childish – age doesn’t equal maturity. I dated my teacher as soon as I left school and he put me under a lot of pressure we moved in together far too soon and he became very controlling but it became clear that he just couldn’t cope with women his own age and went for naive 6th formers instead. I would avoid anyone who has taught you as you never really lose the power balance. Men who constantly talk about younger women are a bad bet. Just warning you :)