Rejection – how to do it right

You can be rejected and keep your dignity (at least until you get home). Or if you’re doing the rejecting, learn how to do it right!

How to reject someone – in a nice way

An exit sign with two people walking up and down some stairs - rejection.

  • Only say yes unless you really want to. Otherwise you’re just giving false hope.
  • No one likes to be rejected, so be kind, like¬† ‘Thanks for asking me though’. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask, “How would I want to be treated?”
  • If you can’t go to a specific event but you’re interested in the person, make that clear, “I can’t go because I have a family thing but maybe another time?”
  • Don’t rush giggling to tell your friends in front of the person.
  • If you’re sent a text or email keep it private.

How to handle rejection

Nearly everybody gets rejected at some point in their life, no matter how smart, gorgeous or popular they are.¬† Some rejection, like attraction, doesn’t really make sense – it’s not about how likeable we are or how attractive, funny or adorable.

What to do when you ask and they say no…

  • If they say no nicely, smile and move on.
  • If the other person says no in a rude or mean way, they’re just a first-class arse and it’s lucky you found out now.
  • Keep your dignity. Try not to make a scene, throw yourself on the ground, burst into tears, abuse them, sneer or say something rude. You can do all those things alone in your bedroom later.

How to handle rejection: later

  • Don’t try to figure out why – it’s not because you are fat, ugly or stupid – it’s just because the other person can’t feel any “chemistry” or they have their own quirky reason. It means it wouldn’t have worked out, so move on.
  • Don’t wallow in self-pity, and make sure you’re not obsessing about them just because you can’t have them.
  • Hold out for someone who’ll really like you.
  • Get on with something else to take your mind off it.
  • Give it time: after a while you’ll notice things that will make you glad you didn’t go out with that person.

Related links

This information was taken from the book ‘Girl Stuff: Your Full On Guide to the Teen Years’ by Kaz Cooke, published by Penguin Australia, and used by permission.

Photo above from Flickr by jasoneppink / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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