QUIZ: Is my behaviour ugly?

Are you worried about how you have treated your girlfriend, boyfriend, or others? Are there signs that you are trying to control or hurt someone you love? The first step to change is understanding your actions.

Work out if you have been abusive towards a girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, a friend, or someone else.

	Always	Sometimes	Never
Have you told them not to talk to other guys or girls?
Do you blame them if things go wrong?
Have you ever felt that they owe you sex?
Do you call them ‘stupid’ or ‘ugly’, or other names?
Do you often think you are better or smarter?
Does your anger scare them?
Do you often check up on where they are, what they’re up to, or who they’ve been talking to?
Have you snooped and read their texts, emails or diary?
Have you scared them by how you behaved? (like yelling, smashing things, making threats, locking them in, hurting their kids or pets, or driving dangerously while they’re in the car?)
Have you ever hit, pushed, slapped or physically hurt them?
Are they scared of upsetting you?
Have you been aggressive when you were drunk or on drugs?
Have you threatened to hurt or kill yourself if they leave you?
Have you pressured them into sex?
Have you had sex with them when they were drunk and weren’t into it?

Have you ticked any of these?

Then you have tried to hurt, control or abuse your boyfriend or girlfriend in some way, or maybe lots of ways.

If you keep on behaving like this, your BF/GF will lose their trust in you and might want to leave you. Your friends and family might lose their respect for you.

If you want help to change your behaviour, call some of the services and talk to someone.

Related links

• Services that can help
• Why call a help line or see a counsellor?
• Dear Diary: dealing with feelings

Photo from Flickr by mwboeckmann

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