In love? What not to do

Love can be a pretty overwhelming experience. We all go a bit crazy sometimes but there are some things you should never do.

A girl drawing a tattoo in texta

Play games

Your friend’s really hot.

  • Ever tried to make someone jealous by cracking on to their friends?
  • Ever ‘tested’ how much they care by ignoring them for a few days?
  • Ever put down their mates so they’ll spend more time with you?

Some people play these kinds of games in relationships to see if the other person ‘really’ loves them. But the truth is, toying with someone’s feelings can seriously backfire. Your boyfriend or girlfriend might end up feeling like you don’t really care about them or your relationship.

If you really want to know how they feel about you, be brave and ask them straight out.

Tell little lies

Yeah, I’m a massive ___ fan too.

When you feel a bit unsure of yourself, lying to make yourself look better can seem like a good idea. But the more you lie, the harder you have to work to keep up the pretence and the more insecure you will feel.

Remember, you’re ok as you are.

You don’t have to be perfect, or be like everyone else.

Give your BF/GF a chance to find out what you’re really like. After all wouldn’t you rather be with someone who likes you just the way you are?

Ditch your friends

I’ll be there next time, promise!

Falling in love can be pretty exciting. When you have a brand new favourite person it’s easy to forget about staying in touch with your friends. But we all need good friends – they will stick by you, help keep you grounded and make you feel good about yourself.

Make sure neglect doesn’t end your friendship

The things we do for love: a girl just ditched her friends on the phone

If you’ve had to give up seeing your friends or family because of pressure from your boyfriend or girlfriend, that’s not a good sign. Try QUIZ: is it love or control?

If it’s your friend who’s madly in love, be patient. Keep trying to include them in your social life. If you feel like you’re being ignored, let them know, calmly and clearly. When they come back to earth they might really need someone to talk to.

Act like you own them

I saw you talking with _____.

You figure it’s up to you to protect what’s yours, so when you see your boyfriend or girlfriend talking to someone else, you go right over and interrupt  – or worse, you start checking up on them or telling them who they can and can’t talk to.

What you’ve forgotten is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is a person!

You don’t own them and you don’t have the right to control who they talk to or what they do. Step back and trust them to make their own decisions or else your possessive behaviour put you on the road to Splitsville.

Related links

Photos from Flickr by (top) homiesinheaven and (middle) jp-esperanca

We like sharing! This text is copyrighted under Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license, unless stated otherwise.

We'd love to hear how you use it - please tell us.


2 Responses to “In love? What not to do”

  1. i would like to know why people have abusive behavior. i have been through it alot but i also see by reading this i may have some characteristics of it, i know my son doeseven with me, more emotional. would love some ideas to handle it and reasons as to why maybe, thank you. julieanne. this wasa great learning tool for me.

  2. im in love , & im scared , i never fell in love but at tghe same time , i feel like my boyfriend wont hurt me . my feelings grew sort of strong .. , love or lust ?