After the breakup: how u doing?

The end of a relationship can mean intense heartache. Sometimes it feels like the sadness, disappointment or anger is overwhelming. Are you or your ex acting weird or scary?

Are you doing any of these?

A fragile heart in a jar

  • You still show up at their house, classroom, sports event, even if they’ve told you not to.
  • You threaten suicide or harm to yourself.
  • You threaten your ex and make them feel scared on purpose.
  • You would like to hurt them physically.
  • You can’t, even a couple of weeks later, keep it together to do any of the things you normally enjoy.
  • You cut yourself, drink a lot or take lots of drugs. You truly feel that you can’t go on and are worried about your survival.
  • You try and sabotage their friendships, dates or new relationship.
  • You bully them – in person, by text or online – and make them feel crap.
  • You tell lies about them, call them names like ‘slut’ or spread rumours.
  • You put sexy pictures of them online or on your phone for anyone to see.
  • You would take them back in two seconds, on ANY terms.
  • You lie to try and get them to come back – making promises you can’t keep, pretending to be sick or pregnant, or agreeing to things you don’t want (like a casual, not serious, relationship).

DO talk to a trusted friend, adult or family member now. You could also call a counselling service or see a counsellor to talk things over.

DON’T ask your ex to help you deal with the breakup.

Is your ex?

First, what are they doing? If it’s annoying but not scary, try talking to one of their good friends. Ask them if they’d look out for your ex and help them.

Tell your ex:

I’m sorry but you need to stop __________ (insert action here eg ‘calling me’). How about talking to _______ (name of their friend or family), they can be there for you.

If they are stalking you, harassing you by phone or online, making threats to kill themselves, or scaring you in any way – tell someone.

Get your parents, school counsellors, services or the cops to help.

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Photo from Flickr by shewatchedthesky

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One Response to “After the breakup: how u doing?”

  1. Break ups are hard and never fun! They can have you feeling lonely and lost but even though you are not with someone anymore that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to live your life. We can not allow the people we date to define our lives. After a break up we need to accept the difference and allow a mutual friendship to grow without grudges and bitterness. There are other fish in the sea and even though it seems like the end of the world in every situation God will provide a better way for you to follow.