Is sex better when you’re drunk?

Some people think that being high or drunk makes it easier to be sexual. Some even think it makes sex better. Is that true?

A girl drinking a beer.
Sex is not necessarily better if you’re drunk or high – in fact, drinking and drugs can ruin your enjoyment of sex – and affect your judgement.

One in three secondary school students in Australia say that they have had unwanted sex – and the big reason was being too drunk or too wasted on drugs.

How alcohol or drugs can affect you and your body

  • You could feel more relaxed, less inhibited and more confident.
  • You may feel more comfortable about asking someone to be sexual or have sex.
  • Even 1 – 2 drinks can lessen your “sexual response” or how turned on you’ll feel.
  • Guys may have difficulty getting an erection.
  • Girls and guys may find it hard to come.
  • Your judgement and your ability to think clearly is affected.
  • You might not take important things seriously – stuff like whether you like or trust the person or whether the sex is safe.
  • If you’re really drunk or stoned, it might be harder for both of you to speak up and say what you want or to say no to sex.

What if my girlfriend, boyfriend or hookup is too drunk or out of it to decide to have sex?

Stop. Decide for the both of you not to have sex.

What if I’m drinking and I want to have sex?

If you want to have sex and you’re drinking, slow down your drinking and stay soberish. Keep checking in with your feelings.

If you start drinking more,  only have sex with someone you completely trust and make sure it’s safe.

Or better, decide to call it a night and get yourself home instead.

If someone had sex with you without you agreeing…

it’s not your fault. It’s not ok to force you to have sex you don’t want or have sex with you while you are out of it. It’s against the law.

The law says you can’t agree to sex if you are:

  • asleep
  • mistaken about the person’s identity (you think it’s your boyfriend but it’s really their brother)
  • unconscious, or
  • so drunk or out of it on drugs that you are can’t agree freely to decide to have sex.

If you had sex you didn’t agree to, it can be really distressing. Make sure you have someone to talk to about how you’re feeling – it doesn’t matter when it happened.

Related links

(1) Source: National Survey of Australian Secondary Students, HIV/AIDS and Sexual Health 2008

Photo above from Flickr by captaintim / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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