Too much too soon?
He buys me flowers and presents, and says he wants to be with me forever. We’ve only been together for a month. It’s amazing that he’s so into me – but something about it makes me feel nervous. Why?
When someone showers you with attention, it can feel exciting. But it can also be overwhelming. This can be a warning sign that they want to be in control of what you do and who you see – regardless of what you want.
People who are abusive often want too much too soon - they sweep you off your feet, making it hard to see what’s really going on.
Early alarm bells
- want to be with you all the time
- talk about being with you forever (but you haven’t known each other long)
- act in an really jealous and possessive way
- push for sex very early in the relationship
- use guilt-trips, threats or force to make you have sex with them
- always want to know where you are and what you are doing
- constantly call you or send you messages, texts or emails?
- feel overwhelmed
- go along with things that you’re not entirely comfortable with
- have a little voice inside your head telling you it’s too much too soon?
Listen to your feelings
Resist getting swept up in the passion and excitement of romance – stop for a moment and think seriously about where this is heading.
This person might be expecting you to be what they want you to be – regardless of what you want.
Or they might think you owe them something in return for their gifts and passionate declarations of love.
If you can, tell them you want to take things more slowly and to have time to get to know each other. Give yourself some time and space to seriously think about this relationship.