I dated a man who was nearly 5 years older than I was for over a year. During the first few months, I couldn’t get enough of him. He always wanted to be with me and was over my house or with me literally every day.
He began to fight with me over every little thing: I wasn’t spending enough time with him, I didn’t really care about him, I wasn’t giving him enough physically, and I was wanting to be with other guys. He would flip whenever I chose to spend time with my best friend or my family instead of him.
When he was angry, he would drive well over the speed limit (30 mph +), which resulted in 2 accidents with me in the car. I almost broke up with him several times, but he would cry and promise to change, and I would give him “one more chance.” He often blamed his mood swings and anger on hypoglycemia.
How the situation changed
I began to be depressed (although I didn’t recognise the signs till later), cut myself, and deny myself food. I distanced myself from friends and family.
A family vacation (where no contact was made for two weeks) made me realize how happy I was without him.
My friends and family were also beginning to realize how serious the situation was and advised me to dump him, which I did.
What helped me to be stronger
My best friends and family were amazing through the entire ordeal. I ignored them and distanced myself, but they knew something was wrong and stayed by me. When I finally came to terms with my own problems (depression, anorexia, etc), they were there to support me.
What I would say to others
He. Won’t. Change.
I cannot stress that enough. No matter how hard he cried, no matter how many promises he makes, no matter what excuses he makes, NOTHING will change.
Seek guidance from a trusted adult and GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY.
It’s going to hurt, but nothing will hurt you more than staying with that person.