Love: the good, the bad and the ugly » Dear Diary

Dear Diary: dealing with feelings

kiri — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:00:45 +0000

Something happen that made you angry, jealous or just plain miserable? Make sense of what’s going on.

1. THE EVENT
Write down what happened as plainly as possible – no mind reading other people, no judging anyone’s behaviour, no jumping to conclusions - just the bare FACTS eg "The other day I went over to talk to Sam at lunchtime and he ignored me."
2. HOW YOU SEE IT
Your thoughts on what happened. eg "Sam was talking to Serena and I think he was ignoring me because he was trying to impress her and I’ve always known he has the hots for Serena."
3. FEELINGS
How you feel about what happened eg "I felt embarassed, uncomfortable, angry, jealous, humiliated."’
4. WHAT YOU WANT
How you would like things to be eg "I'd like Sam to say ‘Hi’ when he sees me and include me in the conversation and I want to know that he cares about me."
5. CHECK YOURSELF
Does what you want still give your boyfriend, girlfriend or friend room to be their own person?
6.TALK IT OUT
Once you’ve worked out how you feel and what you want you’re ready to go talk it out. Find someone you trust or think about calling a phone counselling line.
7. SEND THIS TO YOURSELF
Your email(valid email required)
Yes, email this to me (tick)

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Artwork by William H. Johnson, from the Smithsonian on Flickr

Dear Diary: Safety Plan

dvrcv — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:58:51 +0000

If your relationship gets scary sometimes, a Safety Plan has questions and answers on how to stay safe.

The more aware you are about protecting yourself, the safer you will be.

You can print out or email yourself the answers below, to carry with you in your bag or purse just to remind you to stay safe in your relationship.

Safety during an argument
If we have an argument on a date and I feel unsafe, I will
(Who could I call to get a safe ride home? What would I do if I'm left in an isolated area? Do I have a mobile phone?)
If we have an argument at school and I feel unsafe, I will
(Who could help you? Where could you be safe at school? Which teacher or counselor do you trust?)
If we have an argument in a house and I feel unsafe, I will try to have us discuss it in
I will use this word as my code word with my family and friends so that they can call for help
What's your worst fear if you leave?
What's your worst fear if you stay?
Who can you talk it through with?
What can you do to feel safer (if you stay or go)?
What strengths do you have to help you through this tough time?
SEND THIS TO YOURSELF
Your email(valid email required)
Yes, email this to me (tick)

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Photo above Flickr by hand-nor-glove / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Dear Diary: weighing it up

dvrcv — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:02:12 +0000

You’re in a relationship and things don’t seem good. Is it worth staying? Fill this out to help you decide.

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Dear Diary: feeling good about myself

dvrcv — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:41:55 +0000

The way others treat you, and your own ‘inner voice’ can make you feel bad. This writing exercise helps you stay strong and positive.

Your self-esteem is the value you give yourself – how much you like and respect yourself.

Building your self-esteem can help you feel stronger and more able to deal with the good and bad things that come along.

This Diary Entry gets you thinking about all the excellent things that make you who you are - and we guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself when you’re done.

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Photo from Flickr by goincase/ / CC BY 2.0

Dear Diary: who am I?

kiri — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 01:14:52 +0000

Knowing more about yourself can help you relate to other people. And work out what you want.

Knowing a bit about yourself can help you navigate your relationships.
Start by thinking about you - what are the most important things in your life? At school? At home? At work?
Do you have religious or spiritual beliefs that are important?
Do you have any pet hates?
Then think about what you want and value in a relationship:
Is family important to you? Do you want your sweetie to spend time with your family?
Do you want to share everything with your partner or keep some things to yourself?
Are relationships about challenge or about making your life easier?
Do you want a partner who helps you out or one who lets you work things out for yourself?
How do you feel about public displays of affection? Hugs, kisses, holding hands? What about in front of your family, friends or workmates?
Is commitment is important or do you like to stay free?
Do you hate swearing or love it?
Are you cool with a bit of drama or do you prefer things to stay calm?
Do you want everyone to know about your relationship or do you want to keep it private?
List all the things that are important in a relationship. See if you can rank them.
(Sometimes looking at your own family can give you clues about what’s important to you)
Which ones could you compromise on? Which ones could make you want to end a relationship?
Are there things in your life that you can’t live without, that are more important than your relationship?
SEND THIS TO YOURSELF
Your email(valid email required)
Yes, email this to me (tick)

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Dear Diary: my ideal first time sex

dvrcv — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:10:28 +0000

Imagine you’re about to have sex for the first time. In an ideal world, who’s the lucky guy or lady? Where will it happen?

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